Five tips you need to know before your next doctor’s appointment
Have you ever felt that when you tell your doctor or nurse something, they just don’t understand you? Or on the other hand, have you ever listened to a doctor give you a lengthy run-down about next steps, only to walk out the door saying “wait, what???”. This post is for you.
Truth be told, healthcare professionals learn to talk using jargon and technical terminology that make even those who do their research scratch their heads. Below are some tips for making sure you’re communicating effectively with your healthcare team. Use these tips to walk into your appointment confident and ready, so you can walk out with the help you wanted.
tip #1: be a broken record
A tip from a psychologist who sometimes hears things she can’t understand either: always check what you think you’ve heard. The tip is called “being a broken record” because you literally say back what you think you heard. For example, if your doctor just got done saying that she doesn’t think a proposed medication will help you, but she’s willing to try it anyway, you could literally say:
“So what I’m hearing you say is that you don’t think it will help me, but you’re willing to prescribe it anyway?”
The result this will have is that your provider will a) confirm that you got it right, or b) clarify. Either way, you get the information you wanted. Win-win!
Tip #2: ask for definitions
Sometimes your healthcare providers are going to use words you don’t understand. This is not your fault. Let me say that louder for those in the back.
if your doctor uses a word you don’t understand, it is not your fault.
Here’s why: people who work in healthcare are trained to use special words to show other healthcare workers that they know what they’re talking about. Is this a good system? No. Does it confuse the living daylights out of everyone? Absolutely. Lots of people are ashamed to ask questions or to admit they don’t understand a technical term they’re not familiar with. As a healthcare worker speaking to you now, please realize that it is the job of the provider to make sure you’re getting information that is understandable to you. Don’t let shame get in the way of asking for more information. Try the phrase, “I don’t know that term. What do you mean by _______?”
Tip #3: bring your list
Let me know if this sounds familiar: you spend the entire drive to the appointment internally practicing what you want to say to your provider. You even practice out loud at a stoplight. You promise yourself, this time I’m not leaving until they take me seriously about ________. You spend 20 minutes waiting anxiously in the waiting room pretending to be interested in the latest edition of People! magazine. After about 14 people see you who aren’t your doctor, the doctor finally walks in. The blood drains from your face. When he finally asks “Anything else I can do for you?” you squeak out, “No!”
I have been there. One time I went home with a refill for a medication I haven’t taken in years, just because at that point it was too much for me to battle out anymore.
The antidote to the white-coat panic is to write down word-for-word the questions and statements you want to make to your provider. For instance, you might write down:
1. My antidepressant doesn’t seem to be working well for me. What else can we do to make my mood better?
2. I really like the cream you prescribed last time. Can you please write me a prescription for a three-month supply to be sent to my pharmacy?
3. I can’t remember when I had my last PAP smear. Can you look that up for me and tell me when to schedule the next one?
Let me reassure you that as a healthcare provider, when I see patients come to me with a list in hand, I immediately think “Dang! This person has got it together! This is so helpful!” I promise your team won’t find it weird, or annoying. And if they do, it’s time for you to find a new provider.
Tip #4: You are the expert
I’m dead serious here. So many people feel that healthcare providers are the experts, and they are “just a patient”. And that’s true, to a degree. You should rely on your healthcare team for their expert advice, opinions, and guidance. After all, they did spend nearly a decade in school learning all this stuff. But please also remember that you are the expert on your body. Only you live with your symptoms, and only you know what those symptoms feel like. Make sure that you communicate what you are experiencing in no uncertain terms.
For example:
Good:
“When I stand up too quickly, I get dizzy and I see stars.”
Bad:
“I don’t know…I mean…sometimes it’s like I get dizzy right when I stand up, and I’m not sure but I think it’s maybe because I stood up too quickly. What do you think?
You feel your body. You know what it is doing. You are the expert.
Tip #5: Ask “Who else should i see?”
Sometimes, your provider won’t be able to help you. Remember, that doesn’t mean that nobody can help you, it just means this person can’t. For instance, if you’re seeing your primary care physician (PCP) for a very specific issue with a rash, your PCP might not be familiar with it. They might need to refer you to a dermatologist. That doesn’t make them a bad doctor, and it doesn’t make you a bad patient for asking about it.
If you come to an impasse, ask the question, “Who else should I see about this issue?” Let your team refer you out to other specialty practices so you can see an expert on the issue you’re trying to address. This is particularly true when it comes to mental health symptoms. Your PCP might be able to prescribe you a medication for mood, but it may also be true that they’re not an expert on mental health. Asking “Who else should I see?” can net you a referral to a psychologist, therapist, or someone else who can use effective strategies to treat your symptoms.
That’s it for now. Were these tips helpful? What other tricks do you use to make sure you’re getting good care from your team?
Be well,
